I feel the urge to write about this film for one reason and one reason only: it is the worst film I have ever seen.
Yes, the world is full of terrible films, and I am the first to admit that I have not seen many of them. But out of the thousands of movies I’ve seen, Rat Pfink a Boo Boo ranks below the worst of the worst. Transformers 2, Gigli, Troll 2, Battlefield Earth, The Hottie and the Nottie, Boardinghouse, Reefer Madness, Plan 9 From Outer Space, The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, North, Showgirls, The Room. I would rather watch any of those than sit through Rat Pfink again.
A lot of bad films are fun to watch, which makes them inherently “good”. That sounds illogical, and is probably a topic for another essay. But for our purposes today, it is only important to know that Rat Pfink is not one of those films. At 72 minutes, it is padded and overlong and shows zero respect for the spirit of film-making.
The film opens with an unnamed women being stalked by a group of evil men. Eventually, they get her and make plans to taunt and stalk another girl chosen randomly out of the phonebook. Cee Bee Baeaumont, played by director Ray Dennis Steckler’s then girlfriend, Carolyn Brandt.
Cee Bee is the girlfriend of a famous musician played by Ron Haydock. We are treated to a few of his musical numbers to pad out the film even more. The bad guys start by making some creepy phone calls to Cee Bee, and eventually kidnap her. At that point, the film veers off from its thriller aspirations and turns into a goofy comedy.
Her boyfriend and a the gardener (a previously minor character) transform into the crime-fighting duo of Rat Pfink and Boo Boo. A cut-rate Batman and Robin. What follows are endless chase scenes, a poorly choreographed fight, a gorilla and a parade.
It sounds like campy fun, right? Nope. The whole film is made without any respect for entertainment. It is as if Steckler wasn’t even trying to make a good film. Or at least an acceptable film. It feels like he just wanted to get 70 minutes of footage for as cheap as possible, and toss it into a theater to get some quick cash.
Legend has it that the film was supposed to be called Rat Pfink And Boo Boo, but that someone messed up the title card and it came out as Rat Rfink A Boo Boo. The fact that Ray Dennis Steckler didn’t care enough to have that fixed goes to show how much he cared about this film, and the audiences that had to sit through it.