Quotes From My Friday Night

It may not surprise you that I spend the occasional evening indulging in the age old past-time of table-top role playing. Dungeons and Dragons style gaming has always been dear to me. I’m sure fans of the hobby will appreciate the humor that I find in my regular game. To this end, I am going to include the Top 5 quotes from each gaming session that I play.

There are many more than this that I write down during our session, but I decided to narrow it down to the funniest and most politically correct of the bunch. If you recognize the style of some of the quotes, then you are mistaken. They are not from LCD. He would not even entertain the idea of engaging in such an activity. He finds it beneath him, and chooses to spend his time are much more important endeavors.

At this point, I should probably warn you. If you have never seen a 20-sided die, stop reading here. The rest of this entry is not going to make sense.

To really quickly set up the game: We are a group of standard fantasy adventurers in the Forgotten Realms setting. I would call us “griizzled veterans” by now. Our current quest involved hunting down and destroying a group of vampire Hill Giants. Of course, we succeeded. Now, on to the quotes, where all names have been changed to protect the innocent.

5) “There are no bragging rights when you kill a dwarf… just pleasure.” - Paco
In case you were wondering, my character is a dwarf.

4) “Can I use the cross-slice double slash with thrusting, or just with hacking?” - Kristine
Power-gaming at it’s best!

3) “We aren’t capable of making decisions without dice.” - Nelson
Well, that’s true about Nelson at least.

2) “If you mate a dwarf and a giant, wouldn’t you just get a human?” - Kristine
That does raise interesting issues about genetic engineering.

1) “We’ll miss Pat, but not as much as he’ll miss Viggo Mortenson fighting in a bath-house.” - Ozzy
That is the last time I express my love of a naked fight scene in public. Even if it is from a great film that all of the group would enjoy.

Well, I hope you enjoyed the list, stay tuned for next time!