RPG Humor: Quotes and Such, Part 5

Last time we played, our long-suffering party was on their way to give a sword to a dead guy in order to have the evil inside it destroyed.

Well, we found his coffin at the end of a difficult dungeon. Unfortunately, it wasn’t alone. It was being guarded a devil-creature and an angel-creature.

They were willing to talk with us about the sword, but one particularly headstrong member of our party wasn’t interested in talking sense. He caused a battle, and the party quickly killed the devil-thing, destroyed some sort of sacred balance that was key to keeping the evil under wraps.

That same party member drew the evil-possessed sword during the battle and quickly became enthralled in its clutches. The rest of the party had to kill him, but eventually decided to resurrect the poor guy. And, surprising everyone, he came back and decided to change his ways to be good and honorable. That lasted the whole session!

The rest of the night saw the party liberating a city from 300 evil guardsmen who were being controlled by some evil clerics, wizards and their pet beholder. We ended up winning the battle, and will take stock of our victory next time we play.

Unfortunately for the RPG fans, but good for the movie fans, I will be at the Philadelphia Film Festival for the next two weeks (April 3-15). So get ready for some live coverage of all 50 movies I plan on seeing. If anyone has any advance info about the films in the line-up, please let me know! I’ll post a schedule of what I am seeing as soon as I finalize it.

In the meantime, here are some quotes from last RPG session to hold you over until the next installment in this series.

5) “All your base are belong to us!” - Nelson
You may consider Nelson an uber-nerd for combining RPG and 80’s video games. You would be right.

4) “I’m not a vending machine, dammit!” - Paco
Said after several requests for home made magical weapons and spell-storing rings.

3) “Don’t worry, you’ll be okay. We’ll tie a rope to you!” - Nelson
Famous last words…

2) “I’m a pencil dragon!” - Ozzy
Ozzy, the GM, is known for his love of dragons… and pencils.

1) “Attention citizens! We have killed two-thirds of their forces and– OH CRAP A BEHOLDER!!!” - Paco
This was a great way to earn the confidence of the people.

Until next time!