Again, I should warn you that this entry won’t make sense to the table-top roleplaying uninitiated. So only read on if you know what a dungeon-crawl is.

Last night I took part in my regular role-playing session, so today I bring you the top 5 quotes from the game. Last episode we fought vampire hill giants. This time we spent the whole session wandering aimlessly around a cave trying in vain to come to an agreement about what is the best way to escape. Drow, gnomes, displacer beasts and other things roamed the caverns, but we managed to survive. However, at the end of the session we were still lost.

Now, to the quotes. It looks like Nelson and Paco are the winners this week, taking all of the top 5 spots. This isn’t surprising because Nelson can be as boisterous and entertaining as LCD. But that’s just a coincidence, mind you.

5) “Why doesn’t anyone speak Gnomish? What is wrong with you people?!?” - Nelson
Who even knew Gnomes had their own language?

4) “What’s more natural than yeast?” - Paco
Paco is extremely concerned about the quality of ingredients that go into his snack chips.

3)“It’s about to get Smurfy in here!” - Nelson
Relating in-game events to 80s cartoons in provocative ways is just one of the talents Nelson has.

2) “You Palpatined yourself!” - Nelson
This was said to Paco after he critically failed a lightning bolt, sizzling himself for massive damage.

1) “The one good thing about dead comrades is free gear!.” - Paco
You can really feel his great concern for the well-fare of the other party members.

That is all for today. Will we finally get out of this cave alive? Tune in next time for the thrilling conclusion!

It may not surprise you that I spend the occasional evening indulging in the age old past-time of table-top role playing. Dungeons and Dragons style gaming has always been dear to me. I’m sure fans of the hobby will appreciate the humor that I find in my regular game. To this end, I am going to include the Top 5 quotes from each gaming session that I play.

There are many more than this that I write down during our session, but I decided to narrow it down to the funniest and most politically correct of the bunch. If you recognize the style of some of the quotes, then you are mistaken. They are not from LCD. He would not even entertain the idea of engaging in such an activity. He finds it beneath him, and chooses to spend his time are much more important endeavors.

At this point, I should probably warn you. If you have never seen a 20-sided die, stop reading here. The rest of this entry is not going to make sense.

To really quickly set up the game: We are a group of standard fantasy adventurers in the Forgotten Realms setting. I would call us “griizzled veterans” by now. Our current quest involved hunting down and destroying a group of vampire Hill Giants. Of course, we succeeded. Now, on to the quotes, where all names have been changed to protect the innocent.

5) “There are no bragging rights when you kill a dwarf… just pleasure.” - Paco
In case you were wondering, my character is a dwarf.

4) “Can I use the cross-slice double slash with thrusting, or just with hacking?” - Kristine
Power-gaming at it’s best!

3) “We aren’t capable of making decisions without dice.” - Nelson
Well, that’s true about Nelson at least.

2) “If you mate a dwarf and a giant, wouldn’t you just get a human?” - Kristine
That does raise interesting issues about genetic engineering.

1) “We’ll miss Pat, but not as much as he’ll miss Viggo Mortenson fighting in a bath-house.” - Ozzy
That is the last time I express my love of a naked fight scene in public. Even if it is from a great film that all of the group would enjoy.

Well, I hope you enjoyed the list, stay tuned for next time!