It’s been a while since I have had to cringe and turn away about once every 2 minutes watching a horror film. In fact, I can’t really remember the last time that has happened, if at all. Who knew it would be a little French horror/thriller about a pregnant woman under siege that would make that happen to me?

In honor of the birth of LCD, which happened many many years ago tomorrow, I will review this brutal pregnancy thriller.

The film is called Inside (À l’intérieur), and it tells the story of a young woman left alone in her home on Christmas Eve. Sarah, played by Alysson Paradis, is fully pregnant, but alone. Her husband had died in a car accident only a few months ago. She is scheduled to give birth to her baby the next day.

All she has to do is wait for her boss and friend to come pick her up in the morning. Unfortunately, during the night she has to contend with a crazed woman (Béatrice Dalle) who will stop at nothing to make the fetus her own

The film is short, and the first 20 minutes (after the bloody intro car accident) really take their time. They did build the mood, but it felt like the film was trying to stretch as much as it could to be feature length. The situation is set up, which has our heroine sitting at home along waiting for the sleep to come so she can get up in the morning to give birth.

Fortunately, after the characters and the situation are introduced, the film picks up very quickly. Sarah is disturbed by a knock on her door. A women on the other side, claiming to need to use the telephone, knows far too much about Sarah and her past. Sarah doesn’t let her in and the women taunts her from outside the house. The women disappears, and the police are called. The police found nothing, and will come back and check on her at some point during the night. So Sarah quickly puts the situation behind her and tries to fall sleep.

After she does, though, the crazy woman finds a way into the house. This sets up a nightmarishly cringey and gory showdown between the two (and some other unfortunate people) that lasts for the rest of the film. The first instance is when the baby-thief creeps up on the sleeping Sarah with a large pair of steel scissors. She exposes the woman’s bulging belly and slowly drags the scissors along the skin to the belly button, getting ready to cut. It’s oh-my-god-turn-your-head-away stuff.

Lucky for Sarah, the first piercing of her stomach wakes her up she manages to escape to the bathroom where she barricades herself in. The next hour is an orgy of over-the-top violence. It’s quite remarkable how much happens.

Other people come into the house (her boss, her mother, the police), but this psycho lady cannot be stopped. Those scissors stab and slice many times in many interesting ways. It just keeps getting more and more absurd, but the film never loses its mood. I had a very visceral reaction during the whole thing, and had to turn away many times.

The film follows the standard horror-movie/siege-movie scenario. Characters do really stupid things, everyone is one-dimensional, and the usual cliches happen. Still, the film has lots of energy and creativity behind it. The fact that Sarah is heavily pregnant, and that the baby is in constant danger just add to the tension as well.

By the end of the film, the directors had me in a mood where I could believe what happens in the climax. (Which is even more over-the-top than the rest of the film). I was laughing out loud with shock, awe, and horror at what was going on.

Overall, Inside is a great little horror film that is a must for fans of the genre. The directors Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury bring some fresh energy and guts (no pun intended) to the standard genre film. At the end, I didn’t know who I was rooting for, but I was happy to go along for the ride. Some day maybe I can watch the film again and not turn away, but right now I still have to cover my belly-button and cringe every-time I think about it.

I should probably standardize the titles of these RPG quote entries that I do. Every time I name it something different. Oh well.

Last time we were on our way to destroy an unspeakable evil. At the end of the dungeon we found it. It was some sort of demon/devil thing that was hiding in a tomb. It entranced our party, making most of us believe it was a great sun-elf king, risen from the dead, but the smart ones of the party managed to see through it’s illusion.

After a fierce battle, the Paladin NPC sacrificed himself to destroy it for good. At least, we think it’s destroyed. It might be held in his magical sword. The rest of the session was spent finding and traveling through another tomb where we could leave the sword, hopefully without any repercussions.

We stopped before we could find our way to the end of it. We’ll see what happens next time. Can we pawn off this devil-slaying sword on a dead guy in order to carry out the Paladin’s dying words? We all hope we can.

It was a good session, even though we were short, and I got some good quotes. Enjoy!

5) “He is already suffering… he plays with you guys!” - Nelson
He could be talking about any member of our gaming group and still be accurate.

4) “I like it when people laugh at other people beside me.” - Adam
Unfortunately that rarely happens…

3) “It’s too bad we don’t have a note from beyond the grave to guide us!” - Adam
This was said because a player did happen to have a note from the dead Paladin, but for some reason he wasn’t telling us about it.

2) “No… because that would save everybody!” - Ozzy
Said after someone asked Ozzy the GM if they could use a particular item to help the party.

1) “I start panting when I realize his helmet is loaded.” - Nelson
Nelson always loved guys with large heads.

That’s all for today. Please come back often for more RPG shenanigans.

I would call 2007 a great film year for me. I managed to see almost all the films that I wanted to see, and I feel like I can come up with a legitimate Top 10. So, without any extraneous material, I give you my Top 10 of 2007:

10) Away From Her - Tears flowed freely during this tender love story. Sarah Polley’s first feature feels like she has been making movies her whole life.

9) Juno - A teen pregnancy comedy/drama that does everything right and shows how standard material can be elevated to something more using wit and insight.

8) Michael Clayton - A mystery that unfolds slowly and surely. It kept me guessing until the final moments when it all wrapped up perfectly.

7) Diving Bell and the Butterfly - An innovative, creative, and heart-wrenching film based on a story that most thought could never be filmed.

6) Day Night Day Night - A small, brutal film that examines what state of mind a person must be in to be a suicide bomber.

5) Sunshine - Beautiful, invigorating sci-fi. Tightly scripted, scientifically believable, and intellectually satisfying.

4) After the Wedding - A film from Denmark that has enough drama for a Lifetime movie, but through deft directing, writing and acting, it transcends with ease, and delivers.

3) Zodiac - Fincher really proved himself with this surprisingly layered 70’s time-capsule.

2) There Will Be Blood - I can talk forever about this movie. Sheer perfection in every way.

1) Once - I have to go with my heart this time. Few movies have ever given me as much pleasure as this one.

And to end on a sour note, in my opinion the worst film of the year is Tarantino’s half of Grindhouse. He completely missed the point of drive-in sleaze. Instead, he delivered the dead-on-arrival Death Proof that spent far too much time talking about nothing and didn’t even take place in the seventies.

So, another year of film in the books. 2007 wasn’t half bad. Hopefully, 2008 will bring some wide releases of independent and foreign films to theaters.

That’s if the current studio system lets them. Écrasez l’Infâme!

Last time we played, our long-suffering party was on their way to give a sword to a dead guy in order to have the evil inside it destroyed.

Well, we found his coffin at the end of a difficult dungeon. Unfortunately, it wasn’t alone. It was being guarded a devil-creature and an angel-creature.

They were willing to talk with us about the sword, but one particularly headstrong member of our party wasn’t interested in talking sense. He caused a battle, and the party quickly killed the devil-thing, destroyed some sort of sacred balance that was key to keeping the evil under wraps.

That same party member drew the evil-possessed sword during the battle and quickly became enthralled in its clutches. The rest of the party had to kill him, but eventually decided to resurrect the poor guy. And, surprising everyone, he came back and decided to change his ways to be good and honorable. That lasted the whole session!

The rest of the night saw the party liberating a city from 300 evil guardsmen who were being controlled by some evil clerics, wizards and their pet beholder. We ended up winning the battle, and will take stock of our victory next time we play.

Unfortunately for the RPG fans, but good for the movie fans, I will be at the Philadelphia Film Festival for the next two weeks (April 3-15). So get ready for some live coverage of all 50 movies I plan on seeing. If anyone has any advance info about the films in the line-up, please let me know! I’ll post a schedule of what I am seeing as soon as I finalize it.

In the meantime, here are some quotes from last RPG session to hold you over until the next installment in this series.

5) “All your base are belong to us!” - Nelson
You may consider Nelson an uber-nerd for combining RPG and 80’s video games. You would be right.

4) “I’m not a vending machine, dammit!” - Paco
Said after several requests for home made magical weapons and spell-storing rings.

3) “Don’t worry, you’ll be okay. We’ll tie a rope to you!” - Nelson
Famous last words…

2) “I’m a pencil dragon!” - Ozzy
Ozzy, the GM, is known for his love of dragons… and pencils.

1) “Attention citizens! We have killed two-thirds of their forces and– OH CRAP A BEHOLDER!!!” - Paco
This was a great way to earn the confidence of the people.

Until next time!