The Cinesthete’s Annual Filmie Awards for 2011

No more lists, just awards!

The Award for “Best Theft Scene” goes to Cold Weather for a unique climax to a unique story.

trophyThe Award for “Best Potential Spin-off” goes to X-Men: First Class for making everyone think a great film would be “Magneto: Nazi Hunter”.

trophyThe Award for “Best Michael Caine Impressions” goes to The Trip for Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon channeling Michael Caine for five minutes.

trophyThe Award for “Best Sex Scene” goes to The Perfect Host for David Hyde Peirce enjoying the company of an imaginary woman.

The Award for “Best 70s Film” goes to Super 8 for being a film straight out of my childhood.

trophyThe Award for “Best Soundtrack” goes to Hanna for a killer score by The Chemical Brothers.

trophyThe Award for “Most Courageous Film” goes to Tree of Life for being an unconventional film that could have ruined careers.

trophyThe Award for “Worst Food Poisoning Scene” goes to Bridesmaids for a gross-out scene that really felt out of place in a fairly smart film.

trophyThe Award for “Best Documentary” goes to Tabloid for telling a truly outrageous and entertaining story about Mormonism and kinky sex.

trophyThe Award for “Most Offensive Film” goes to Chillerama for being an utter piece of crap.

trophyThe Award for “Worst Clown Film” goes to The Last Circus for its absurd circus story that almost works but doesn’t.

trophyThe Award for “Best Film with a Strange Planet” goes to Melancholia for telling the story of a giant planet heading towards Earth.

trophyThe Award for Second Best Film with a Strange Planet goes to Another Earth for telling the story of a discovery of another Earth eerily similar to ours.

trophyThe Award for “Best Chase Scene” goes to Drive for Ryan Gosling outwitting the police using mostly his wits.

trophyThe Award for “Best Laugh-out-loud Moment” goes to Shark Night 3D for the one-armed football player standing waist deep in the water, holding a spear, and taunting a shark.

trophyThe Award for “Most Slow Motion” goes to The Dead for endless scenes of slow-motion zombie walking.

trophyThe Award for “Best Song” goes to The Muppets for making me decide if I am a man or a muppet.

trophyThe Award for “Worst Soundtrack” goes to Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol for music that actually took me out of the movie.

trophyThe Award for “Best Piece of Property” goes to The Descendants for a parcel of thousands of pristine acres in the middle of Hawaii.

trophyThe Award for “Best Use of 3D” goes to Cave of Forgotten Dreams for showing the great Chauvet cave paintings in three dimensions.

trophyThe Award for “Most Entertaining Funeral” goes to Hesher for Joseph Gordon Levitt’s titular character talking about his testicles.

trophyThe Award for “Most Tired Concept” goes to The Change-Up for another body swap “comedy”.

trophyThe Award for “Coolest Car” goes to Bellflower for the flame-throwing, apocalypse-ready Medusa.

trophyThe Award for “Worst Final Shot” goes to The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo for a scene that totally messed up a really cool character.

And back for this year, my favorite part of being a film fan. The Best Repertory Cinema Screenings of 2011:

3) Basketcase (1928) / Frankenhooker (1990)Crystal Plumage screened these two horror/comedy classics with Henenlotter in appearance. The second film quickly became one of my favorite movies.

2) Meet the Feebles (1989) – The last film of the Exhumed Films 24-hour film festival. I can’t believe I saw that in 35mm!

1) Planet of the Apes (1968) and all the sequels in one sitting. The original is one of my favorite films. And seeing the whole series in the theater was amazing. Thank you Exhumed Films!

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