USA, 2000, George Baluzy/Mike Baluzy, 90 min.

I am definitely aging myself when I tell you that some of my fondest childhood memories were staying up way past my bedtime and catching some weird movie on one of the local channels at 2am or finding a weird VHS tape to rent at West Coast Video. Those gems were so bad, and so ridiculous but something about them just made you love them. I mean, in a totally platonic, oh-my-god-this-is-so-bad-its-good kind of way.  

BlackMale (no, I haven’t incorrectly placed a capital letter in there, that’s actually the way it’s spelled) is a movie about two desperate con men (Bokeem Woodbine and Justin Pierce) attempting to blackmail a doctor (Roger Rees).

This movie follows your basic plot: Con man meets drunk lonely rich doctor in a strip club. Con man comes up with a plan to blackmail (Get it?!?) said rich guy with a sex tape. Con man puts plan in motion with his friend and girlfriend (Sascha Knopf). Drunk lonely rich guy is actually a psychotic serial killer who killed the doctor he’s pretending to be and turns the table on the con men. 

Ah…a-squeeze me?

Yes, Roger Rees plays a psychotic serial killer in this movie, and it looks like he watched Gary Oldman in Leon: the Professional while preparing for the role. His performance, and let’s be honest, everyone’s performance, is so over the top you can’t help but laugh and then continue watching, and then laugh again. There is cross-dressing, gun fights, weird policemen, and one of the best gang leaders a la Cyrus from The Warriors I have ever seen (play by none other than Erik Dellums, the Wasteland’s very own Three Dog from the Fallout series).  This movie is so low budget and so poorly written but it definitely invoked that feeling of finding something so bizarre, so special, that you have to share it with the rest of the world. 

Can I tell you exactly what was going on in this movie? Nope. Can I tell you what the director hoped to accomplish? Nope. Can I explain to you just how bizarre a scene with a cop who on screen for a few minutes can be? Double Nope. But can I tell you to track this movie down, gather your friends around the TV, drink some beers (or something stronger), have some snacks, and watch this (preferably on an old VHS tape like we did)? ABSOLUTELY. 

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