Frank Henenlotter, USA, 1990, 85 min.

We open on a brain in a jar. A brain with an eyeball. One of Jeffrey Franken’s experiments he works on at the kitchen table. This doesn’t make much sense but quickly sets the tone of the film: unrealistic but gleefully bizarre.

After a lawnmower accident kills Jeffrey’s fiance he turns his nervous brilliant energy to bringing her back to life, Frankenstein’s monster style. But due to the graphic nature of her untimely demise, he needs to get some other female body parts to make her whole again.

So where can he buy good-looking female parts? What happens next is a fantastic and humorous mix of bizarre ideas, incredible ad-libing, and just-right special effects. The screenplay is tight and the characters are memorable.

 It’s rare that a film with such a story can remain fun and light instead of dark and sleazy. Credit has to go to the writers, the director, and the great performance by James Lorinz. The story is broad and offensive, but the great surprise of Frankenhooker is that the film is just the opposite.

Thanks to Crystal Plumage I was able to see this flim in the theater with a Q&A and intro by Frank Henenlotter, in person. It was part of a great double feature with Basket Case. Check out Crysal Plumage’s Facebook for a list of upcoming screenings!

This film wins the award “Best Newscast” for the hilarious reporting of the unfortunate lawnmower accident. I love the police officer trying to count the body parts.

Tod Williams, USA, 2010, 91 min.

There is something deepy terrifying about having a demon attached, not to the house you live in, but to you. No matter where you go, that demon will be with you, physically and spiritually, and will torment you for the rest of your life. There is nothing you could do to stop it.

That is the premise of the first Paranormal Activity, which told the film through the gimmick of “actual footage” of in-movie cameras, both hand-held and stationary. It was an effective little low-budget horror film (only $15,000) , which was smart enough to take its time and avoid shakey cam.

The sequel has the same gimmick (but the budget was $3 million, how does that happen?) It also destroys the terrifying hook of the first film by inventing a stupid backstory for the demon and a way to link this film to the first. There was no need to explain things, the idea mentioned above is scary enough as it is.

That being said, it also takes a very long time to get to some actual tension. The number of each night in the film is noted on the screen and it isn’t until Night #11 that something significant actually happens. It’s the rare time when I wanted a film to stop building mood and actually get to a payoff.

This was a film that had no reason being made except to get some quick bucks. You always hope in those situations that the director will take the opportunity to make the film his or her own, or at least to do something new. That wasn’t the case.

Rumor has it that Brian De Palma was at one point approached to direct. Now that would have been something to see.

This film wins the award “Biggest Waste of  Three Million Dollars.” Seriously? This movie cost that much money? Dead Alive only cost $2.5 and look at the difference!

Lucky McKee, USA, 2011, 101 min.

A hunter gazes through his scope at the woman: Young, dirty, a wild animal. She is in no way attractive, covered in grime and open wounds, but he sees past that to the sexual beast he knows she is. You can feel that he has to have her.

For that scene to work you have to believe the character of the hunter, in actuality a well-off family man with a wife and three kids, is capable of those thoughts and deeds. The opening of the film sets that up well. We see him in his life, normal on the outside, but with undercurrents of something sinister. The face of his poor wife and eldest daughter show more than they are letting on.

So when he captures the woman and locks her up in the storm cellar for “rehabilitation”, and when the family is a bit surprised but goes along with it, you believe it. Because of the tone of the script and the subtlety involved in setting this up, you can buy into the film.

If that strong opening gave the film-makers some leeway, they soon squander it. Things go along well for awhile: some disturbing scenes, tension-building, mystery surrounding true motivations, etc. But at some point the story doesn’t know what to do next. Characters perform strange actions and a reveal comes that was unearned.

The movie would have been better served concentrating on the family scenes with the domineering father: the scary Sean Bridgers. Or concentrating on the daughter and her dynamic with the young hip high school teacher: the very cool Carlee Baker.

But instead we get something made to shock us. But in this day and age, when potential shock is everywhere you look, I want something more than the standard gore/torture film. Unfortunately, after a promising opening, that is all The Woman has to offer.

This film wins the award “Coolest High School Teacher” for Carlee Barker playing a teacher any highschooler would love to have.

I was commenting to a friend that the Exhumed Films 24-Hour Horror-thon 2011 is the premiere film-going experience in the world. After much deliberation I stand by that. Can you name any other 24-hour film festivals? The only one I know about is Harry Knowles’ Butt-numb-a-thon. But that doesn’t show as many movies and half of those you will be able to see in the theater in a regular release.

As you can see from my previous write-ups the Exhumed Films horror-thon is a great mix of quality, obscurity, and an opportunity that should not be missed:

2010 Line-up
2009 Line-up
2007 Line-up

2011 was no exception. In fact, the line-up was even better than usual:

#1 – Fun 1970s British Film that successfully combines two specific horror and exploitation genres

A unique, dreamlike opening leads into a story of a motorcycles, resurrection, and toads. The leader of a motorcycle gang learns how to live forever and leads invincible cyclists on a rampage through the English country side. This film truly is a combination of two genres, supernatural horror and cycle-sploitation, and it manages to be the best of both.

#2 – Giant monster movie classic

As fun as one would expect. Japan, a force to be reckoned with when it comes to giant monsters, creates another one with this tale of a mining company that accidentally digs up giant bugs that terrorize the town. But that is only the beginning. The bugs are being eaten by something that hatched out of a huge prehistoric egg. One is reminded of the dwarves of Moria, who delved too greedily and too deep.

#3 – Little seen supernatural shocker that marks the horror debut of a future genre icon

What if a famous horror icon died, but instead of going quietly he left behind a cursed mausoleum tourist attraction? And what if a group of teenage fans stole (kidnapped?) his dead body and used it for a night of goofy fun? Some funny yet disturbing scenes lead up to a fun supernatural slasher. The future horror icon is Jeffrey Combs (as one of the students), but Ferdy Mayne as the great Conrad Radzoff is the real star of the film.

#4 – Just when you thought we were having fun, along comes Movie #4 to completely depress you with its stark brutality and nihilism

This film does some important things that good films do. It makes you feel something, it creates a style that compliments the story, and uses a script that is unique but logically sound. It is the story of a murderer, based on Henry Lee Lucas, and a small segment of his life. A great film full of an independent film-making spirit, strong performances, and an ending that will stay with you.

#5 – Zombie Movie: Philadelphia Premiere of Howard Ford and Johnathan Ford’s “The Dead”

Over-hyped. It is an above-average new zombie-film, but that isn’t saying much. It does a few things well but too many things wrong. The good: a cool African backdrop, realistic slowly moving zombies, and an ability to create fear using them. The bad: over-the-top use of music and slow motion, and a lack of urgency in the story set-up. But worst of all is that it brings absolutely nothing new to a played-out genre.

#6 – Totally stupid, totally awesome Satanic silliness

It’s a familiar formula: a teenager, teased and bullied for years, finally fights back with the help of supernatural powers. The hook for this film is that the teenager is a rock and roll metalhead and his powers are in the form of a dead musician’s advice coming from a vinyl record played in reverse. Yes, it is is goofy and fun as it sounds, and it includes Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne in some great cameos.

#7 – Underappreciated over-the-top slasher/psychosexual thriller

A bizarre, creepy film about a woman and her unhealthy obsession with the nephew she has been raising since he was a toddler. When he gets old enough to potentially move away from home, she does everything in her power to keep him there. Yes, its disturbing, but it has a perverted energy and a powerhouse performance by Susan Tyrrell that make it fascinating.

#8 – Unconventional adaptation of a literary horror classic #1

I just saw this in the theater a week earlier. I feel honored, because it is a remarkable film. It’s an adaptation of Frankenstein involving dead prostitutes. It shouldn’t work but it does because Henenlotter has a way of setting up a tone where everything makes sense and the subject matter doesn’t feel as sleazy as it sounds. James Lonrinz is a riot as well. I don’t feel bad saying I love this movie.

#9 – Unconventional adaptation of a literary horror classic #2

I enjoyed this film, but this was at the point in the marathon where I started to lose it a bit. I liked what I saw. Bernie Casey is very likable as a black doctor searching for a cure, and also very terrifying as the white murderer he turns into when his new drug doesn’t work as expected. Yes, I just described a blaxploitation version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

#10 – Infamous, sleazy, and bizarre Euro-horror/sexplotation movie

Another film I missed most of, but I did get to see a naked wolf woman tearing men’s throats out before I fell asleep. Was this a standard Euro-horror sexploitation film or something more? One of the bad things of 24-hour horror-thons is not being able to stay awake the whole time to find out.

#11 – Thought-provoking, intellectual genre masterpiece that serves as a metaphor for the fragility of the human condition (…just kidding. This is a goofy gore/sleaze-fest that will probably make your brain hurt with its sheer stupidity. It’s 5:30 in the morning, what did you expect?

It starts with a feel-good 50s-style opening where a man with a meat-cleaver is gunned down by the police. The two nephews he leaves behind grow up to be the brains and the brawn behind a vegetarian diner that is actually serving human flesh. Together with their uncle who is now only a brain in a jar, they set about trying to bring an ancient goddess back to life. This film has a deserved cult-following due to a good mix of gore and humor. My favorite was the deep-fried head scene.

#12 – “Star-studded” Slasher semi-classic

I like how “star-studded” was in quotes. But with names like Jason Alexander, Fisher Stevens, and Holly Hunter the quotes are deserved. It’s about a deranged summer camp caretaker getting revenge on young kids that accidentally burned him. It’s an above average slasher-flick, but again, that is not saying much.

#13 – Usually this is the spot where we show an “animals attack” movie. Well, there are no animals here, but people definitely get attacked in this silly sci-fi/action/horror amalgam

I love Stephen King, but I always avoided this film that he wrote and directed because I heard it was horrible. But from the opening scene on I was pleasantly surprised. The Earth passes through the tail of a comet, which causes all electronics and machines to come to life and attack humans. The story centers around a group of people stuck at a truck stop, surrounded by a convoy of killer trucks. It is a fun, big-budget siege story that has all the trappings of a good genre film.

#14 – For the first time ever, the Horror-thon does not end with a zombie film. In fact, it technically doesn’t even end with a horror movie. Instead, we close with this jaw-droppingly ridiculous/offensive/just-plain-wrong cult film favorite

This was the only film that I managed to guess based on the above clues. But I don’t think I guessed it. I wanted to see this film so badly on the big screen that I willed the print into the projector with the power of my mind. Peter Jackson directs this infamous puppet film with no-holds-barred gusto. The plot manages to weave many intriguing story lines into one coherent piece, and wraps them up with a flourish. A great film to end with and the highlight of the night.

Where would I rank this Horror-thon? The films were definitely the most consistent in quality, the most varied, and the most obscure. For me, that is what makes the Exhumed Films horror-thon so important, and that is why this has been my most favorite so far.

Peter Jackson, USA, 1996, 123 min.

There is energy behind The Frighteners. It’s the fun, gleeful energy brought by a director who grew up loving to make movies with his friends. And it’s an energy that is not diminished by the structure of Hollywood, due to producers who also have that same gleam in their eyes.

Michael J. Fox stars as a man with the power to see spirits, and makes friends with two of them so he can run a fraudulent paranormal investigation business. But he soon uncovers a spirit who is a real danger for all of the living in the town. The story is sufficiently complicated to deliver non-stop action, surprises, humor, and special effects.

It could have been a muddled mess, but all of this is deftly handled by Jackson. The special effects still look good and are a real accomplishment for the time. Jackson knows how to use them and how to integrate them with real footage, which most directors today don’t know how to do. The whole film is a lot of fun, with in-jokes and atmosphere and a genuinely exciting pace. It’s an over-looked gem of the genre and would make for great viewing this Halloween.

This film wins the award “Car With Least Traction” for Bannister’s slippery yellow sliding vehicle.