In recognition of the upcoming Exhumed Films 24-Hour Horror-thon 2010, I am reposting my entry on the first 24-hour show they put on. I missed 2008 (one of the biggest regrets of my life), but you can read my take on the 2009 show here. See you in October!

I have to thank the guys at Exhumed Films for putting on such a great Halloween show. For their tenth anniversary(!) they decided to do something huge. 24 hours straight. 14 films with non-stop trailers in between. Also, no one in the audience knew what movies were being played until they unspooled in front of them.

From Noon on a Saturday to Noon on a Sunday I was in heaven. A smelly uncomfortable greasy heaven, but it was a still heaven. I physically recovered quickly, but mentally I wanted to stay away from people and movie theaters for awhile. That is why it has taken me over a month to gather my thoughts for this review of the event.

Below you will find a description given to the audience by Exhumed Films of what movie was going to play. Under that is my quick review. Click on the description to see what the film was.

Film #1: Slasher Classic The perfect film to start the show with. Everyone has seen this movie a hundred times, and most of the people at the show have probably seen it in the theater. It epitomizes the genre. I always liked it for its simplicity, and how the director creates tension with music and simple camera work. It’s also quite fun to watch, especially with an audience. This was a safe film choice for them to make.

Film #2: Giant Monster Movie The most famous giant monster in the history of cinema stars in this campy sci-fi action romp. This time, he fights a robot version of himself, which is controlled by gorilla-like aliens intent on taking over Tokyo. He also gets some help from an ancient creature. This was a lot of fun, and new to most people in the theater. Not a good film by any means, but it will definitely make you appreciate man-in-suit madness.

Film #3: Creepy, Beloved, Made for Television Movie This was a creepy little movie. A professional couple move into an old house. While the husband is away from work they wife is tormented by these little demon things that live in the basement. She tries to tell people but no one believes her until its too late. The generation of mood is effective, and the creatures are pulled off without making everyone laugh at them. It definitely is a product of the 70s, but it ages well.

Film #4: Gruesome Favorite That Doesn’t Easily Fall Into Any Particular Genre Wow! I never realized how much I liked this film. I had seen it before, but I was really tired at the time. This viewing I was riveted from start to finish. It’s brutal and eerie and moves along efficiently from what mind-bending scene to the next. There were parts I didn’t understand (The old guy with the birds), but largely this film creates a believable mythology that draws you in. This seems to be staple of this writer/director, and this film, his most famous, is a classic for a reason.

Film #5: “Sort-of-living-dead-but-not-exactly” Classic Another “classic”. This one I’m sure most of the audience had seen many times before. Still, it didn’t lessen their enthusiasm. This one did well with the low budget it had. The tall man is creepy, the flying silver balls are even cooler, and the dwarf things are freaky. It really goes all out to be strange and bloody and it does do the job. Not a great film, but definitely entertaining.

Film #6: Sleazy/Infamous/Absurdist Slasher Guilty Pleasure Another “Wow!” for this film. Everyone involved with this film knew exactly what they were doing. This was a tongue-in-cheek slasher film that played everything seriously but really knew what buttons to push to make you laugh or squirm. A killer is loose on a college campus, and its up to an intrepid student and some ineffective cops to stop him. But who is he? Is he the creepy teacher, the chain-saw wielding custodian? From one of the best opening scenes ever, to the crazy unbelievable last scene, this movie had me the whole time. Highly recommended for “Absurdist Slasher” film fans.

Film #7: Comedy/Monster Movie Favorite Well, it definitely is one of my favorite comedy/monster movies. I had seen it for the first time at a previous Exhumed showing and I was blown away then. This time, I was still thoroughly entertained. The director really knows how to tread that thin line between humor and horror. Add to that some great special make-up effects, a tight simple script, and a great ending and you have a thoroughly enjoyable viewing for any evening.

Film #8: Vampire Cult Classic Now this was a clever choice. I had never seen this film before, but I was always a fan of the genre, and crossing vampires into it was a great idea. The story is standard, and the relationships and motivations of people are a bit confusing. Maybe it was just the fact that I was starting to get quite tired at the time. Still, it kept me awake and entertained with its blood and funky music.

Film #9: Sleazy/Infamous/Absurdist Zombie Guilty Pleasure This film was pretty bad. But at least it had its campy funny moments. The zombies were gross. All sort of dry and covered in worms. The story and direction is nothing to speak of. A bunch of people staying at an Italian estate are attacked by zombies. To be honest, I don’t remember why. There was a creepy “child” (see #10), though. The actor playing him must have been thirty, and he kept trying to get a little too close to his mother. That was strange, but the audience really got a kick out of his and her demise.

Film #10: A real obscurity that you won’t think is a horror movie until its final moments, at which point you’ll say to yourself, “Jesus Christ, this is the most horrific thing I have ever seen in my life. These nightmarish images are forever burned my brain. I cannot believe what I have just been subjected to. Damn you to hell, Exhumed Films!” What can be said about this film? A teenage after school special type story from the sixties. It really is a great time capsule. The dancing was my favorite part. Despite its genre, it was thoroughly engaging at 2am, and the audience did squirm and scream at the sight of graphic pregnancy footage. This film was a surprise, and a welcome change from the classic horror.

Film #11: Ridiculously goofy/trashy monster movie guilty pleasure From what everyone was saying afterwards, this was the most reviled film shown that evening. An ancient vampire teams up with a abnormal servant to fight a modern prometheus. At least that is what I remember. He had this ring that disintegrated people, and he used it to destroy all the cobwebs in the abandoned lab before he got started with his evil plan. I had seen this film once before at Exhumed. I wasn’t impressed then, even though it had a camp charm about it. I definitely wasn’t impressed watching it this time at 4am.

Film #12: “Sort-of-living-dead-but-not-exactly” cult classic This film has to be seen to be believed. An Italian zombie film about demons let loose in a movie theater. It makes no sense, but its wall to wall disgusting gore, crazy outfits, over-the-top dialog, punk music, and aviation accidents. This is one of those films that if you watch late at night you won’t be sure what was a dream and what wasn’t. It isn’t an intelligent film, but my god its worth seeing during the wee hours you should be asleep.

Film #13: Campy Monster Movie Cult Classic Contrary to the previous film, this one is quite intelligent. It is written by John Sayles, and tells the story of a ridiculed cop and his obsession with catching a giant man-eating alligator thats living in the sewers. There are some good special effects. The tension is doled out slowly with brief glimpses of the creature before finally seeing it in the larger than life last third. There is some light social commentary in the script as well. Class conflict, animal experimentation, big-city politics. Overall its a well-made take an a standard urban legend.

Film #14: Zombie Move That Makes Me Sick To My Guts Every Time I See It I never really liked this film. It is gory, for sure. There is a scene where a women pukes up her entire intestinal tract, and another one where a guy gets a power-drill through the head. The story involves the standard Fulci tripe. I don’t remember and I don’t care to remember exactly what it was about. Not a good film to end the night on, but I know why they did it. This was the first film they ever showed at Exhumed Films. Still, the audience seemed to like it, even after 22 hours of films. If it wasn’t for the glory of finishing the night, I would have left.

Overall, the event was grand. I was hoping for some rarer films, but the classics are always fun. The crowd was decent and only started to get on my nerves after the first 10 films. I was proud that I only left the theater twice to use the bathroom (during credit sequences), and that I brought enough food and drink to last me the whole time.

This probably is going to stand as one of the premiere film-going events of my lifetime. It will be hard to top. Exhumed Films did right for their tenth anniversary, and I’m hoping that they I get to see another ten more.

The Exhumed Films crew put on a great show at the International House in Philadelphia. Fourteen films including trailers, shorts, Vegan food, prizes, a horror art show, jack-o-lanterns and free cereal. It was pulled off almost flawlessly. All should be commended, from our hosts at the I-house to the guys at Exhumed to the incredible projectionist who made this plethora of strange films stocks appear in front of the audience for 24 hours straight.

As usual, the films were not revealed until they unspooled on the screen. The only hints we had were on the above film program. It turned out to be a good line-up with some classics, some oddities, and some incredibly strange fare.

I attended this with Chris at Fictum Scientia, so check out what he thought of the show over at his site.

Here are the films. Click on the clue for the titles:

#1 - Beloved (by some) horror/monster movie directed by a genre favorite

This film has the style right but gets to the climax of each story a bit too slowly. Still, it was a great way to start the show because it gave the audience a taste of few different things to start the evening.

#2 - Giant monster movie

These films blend together in my mind, but I find them all entertaining. This one was cool because Godzilla was a good guy and had a pet turtle.

#3 - Science/Fiction horror modern classic

A solid, solid film. The story is still relevant today and Jeff Goldblum does a great job in a crazy performance. The creature effects complete are second to none, and Howard Shore once again delivers an excellent score which really elevates the impact of the film. The birth scene is fantastic and is quintessential Cronenburg.

#4 - “Old School” gothic horror starring two genre favorites

It starts off like a slow Hammer Horror, but the story grew on me. It’s definitely atmospheric and the voodoo slant kept it fresh. All the grave-robbing, murder, mystery, and prostitution make for a fun time even if it is dry.

#5 - Slasher sequel that many people enjoy despite (or perhaps because of) its utter stupidity

For this one they just put a bunch of murderable characters together and have them killed off one-by-one without a real explanation. It doesn’t matter, because the murders are interesting and a young bald Corey Feldman goes slow-mo machete crazy at the end.

#6 - Definitely one of the weirdest, most gratuitous, bat-shit craziest films of the evening, if not of all time

I never heard of this film before, but the above description is correct. The summary doesn’t do it any justice, but here it goes: Unique vacationing characters go on a cruise and run afoul of a group of kidnappers who trade women for jade to monks who eat them in order to raise dead martial artists to do their bidding. Hilarious insanity ensues.

#7 - Stunning giallo from a mater of the genre. No, not that one…

I haven’t seen many of his films, but I tell you that this one was exceptionally well-shot. The story was a bit pedestrian, but it had a great mood and at least kept me guessing for a bit.

#8 - Sleazy, absurdist zombie movie guilty pleasure

Zombies arrive, and people run from them. It’s a straight forward premise without surprises, but it is non-stop zombie action. The ending is incredibly absurd and I have no idea how he got away with that. I think they just couldn’t figure out a good way to end it so they did it this way instead.

#9 - Verily! A sword-and-sandal epic unmatched in the annals of time!

Ham and cheese with extra Ham and extra Cheese! This follows the titular character and he goes on a mystical trip to Hades to find an artifact to cure his ailing wife. It’s a classic sword and sandal romp through magical lands, funny special effects, oily men and busty women.

#10 - Rarely screened thriller that is dark, brutal, and generally unpleasant. Starring a genre favorite

It is dark and unpleasant, but Udo gives an interesting performance as usual. There is far too much masturbation and lesbian-sex to make any sense, but when it doesn’t resort to soft-porn it is a predictable story with a good atmosphere.

#11 - Okay, remember how insane #6 was? And how you thought nothing could make less sense, or be more entertaining? Well, this movie may just have #6 beat on all counts. Seriously, poke that guy sitting next to you and wake his ass up. He’s not going to want to miss this

This is a rip-off of Terminator from Indonesia. Except instead of an unstoppable robot she is an unstoppable goddess of the sea bent on revenge. A few generations ago, after tearing off hundreds of men’s penis’s with her vagina, she was tricked into becoming a man’s wife when he gave her her first orgasm. So she cursed his great-granddaughter and hundreds of years later she inhabits the body of an American anthropologist in order track her down and kill her. Yes, it is as crazy as it sounds.

#12 - Nifty, creepy, and fun little horror movie starring no one you’ve ever heard of

Nuclear mutations in kids cause them to be able to kill their parents with a hug! The only thing that can stop them as the aging small-town sheriff. Luckily, he gets help from an excitable parent and together the figure out how to stop the children. Hint: It involves a sword, and that is what makes the movie fun. The blantant disregard for child safety. Otherwise, it is just a run of the mill zombie-like horror film.

#13 - Enjoyable “animals attack” film starring just about every genre favorite ever

Joe Dante directed this and John Sayles wrote it. With talent like that, you would expect them to produce the greatest killer-school-of-fish film there ever was. And by golly, I think they’ve done it!

#14 - Wow, what a surprise… the Horror-Thon ends with yet another zombie flick. Oh Exhumed Films, you are so predictable…

This is a horror classic for a reason. It’s gory, funny, and full of crazy scenes. It’s also based on stories by H.P. Lovecraft, solidly directed and wonderfully acted by Jeffrey Combs. It’s a shame he got type-casted in that role because he definitely has talent. This ended the festival on a high note.

So 11 days and 50 films later, here I sit trying to make sense of it all. There are a few great films, a few horrible films, and many in between. I’ll keep things short and give you a list of the ones worth seeking out. In no particular order:

• Not Quite Hollywood
• Goodbye Solo
• The Desert Within
• The Hurt Locker
• Burning Plain
• Rudo y Cursi
• Jury Duty
• The Joy of Singing
• Landscape #2
• Don’t Look Down
• Revanche
  

Only 11! Well, there were some other good films, but these stood above the rest.

As for me, I need a little break. I think I’ll take a week off before I post again. I have gorged myself and expurgated some rather slapdash reviews. These film festival binges are good ways to find diamonds in the rough, but I really need to get back to “Quality over Quantity” mode. Both in watching and reviewing films.  So next time you hear from me it will be with, hopefully, a more thoughtfully written and insightful entry.

In the meantime, I’m sure LCD will conjure up some remarkable prose for your reading enjoyment. Don’t be afraid. He’ll be gentle.

Tulpan - Sergey Dvortsevoy - Kazakhstan

A too realistic story of a young sheep-herder searching for a wife on the Kazakhstan steppe. Overlong and slow, the film revels in its realism to ill effect. Lots of shots of sheep and grazing and herding. Not much else. The emotion is ground away by the direction, and we are left with a predictable mess of a film that is hard to watch and even harder to like.

Julia - Érick Zonca - France

This english language film has Tilda Swinton hamming it up as a raging alcoholic on the brink of ruining her life when she decides to participate in a kidnapping. It’s a good performance, but her decisions are made with unclear motivations and the film goes in strange directions for too long. You get the point about half-way through, so the last hour is really just a glorified action film. It’s still an intense film with some solid direction.

Sita Sings the Blues - Nina Paley - USA

A beautifully stylized retelling of the Indian legend of Sita and Rama. It’s a cute little story told with humor and pinash. Unfortunately, the story really only has about 30 minutes of content. The film is stretched far too thin, with lots of unneeded additions padding it out to almost 90 minutes. Its unique and well-made, but it really should have been a short.

Jury Duty - Edouard Niermans - France

Written by Didier Le Pêcheur (News From the Good Lord), this made-for-TV film was a great premise. A man murders a young girl, and gets away with it. Due to circumstances of the times in 60’s France, a young Algerian is convicted of the crime. The real murderer has to be on the jury during the trial. It’s almost Lifetime movie stuff, but the script is smart and the plot points and conclusion are genuinely convincing. It’s a solid film that has much more to it then just the summary.

A Beautiful Person - Christophe Honoré - France

A very French romance. Love and affairs between partners at a college. Students and students, teachers and teachers, teachers and students. It’s an uninteresting romp filled with vain uninteresting characters. When the drama gets heavy, I was too disenchanted with the characters to care. The Nick Drake soundtrack was interesting, but thats about it.

Before the Fall - F. Javier Gutierrez - Spain

It starts off with a promising premise.  A meteor is going to destroy Earth in three days. Riots and craziness happen as the public panics. In a remote Spanish town, a family is awaiting the arrival of a child-killer who escaped from jail and is coming for revenge against the one who got him captured. Unfortunately, the film devolves into a slasher flick and makes many odd choices on its way to an unfulfilling climax. It also had too many power zooms.

Burning Plain - Guillermo Arriaga - USA

Arriaga’s trademark screenplay structure is at work here in his directorial debut. This time, his low-key style works even better than Innurita’s in your face melodrama. The screenplay is solid and reveals information slowly and at the right time. The story follows a few different people from all walks of life, and goes back and forth in time until a complete picture is made. Very well done.

The Equation of Love and Death - Cao Baoping- China

A woman is obsessed with the boyfriend who left her 4 years ago. She is a cabdriver who keeps pictures of him and thinks there may be some code in the letters he has been sending. Things take a turn when she is kidnapped by some passengers. This film was all over the place. The kidnapping has nothing to do the with the plot. The missing boyfriend story is strange and senseless and the ending has no real value. A good performance by the main character is wasted.

My Dear Enemy - Lee Yoon-ki - South Korea

A woman finds her exboyfriend and tries to get the money he owes her back. He takes her on a journey to borrow money from other people to do it. This film angered me. It wasn’t bad. The two leads were good, but it was achingly slow. It had a destination, but it took its damn time getting there. Even if it wasn’t my 44th film in a row, I still would just have wanted the movie to end. It didn’t need to take it’s time since it was so predictable.

Rudo y Cursi - Carlos Cuarón - Mexico

Rudo and Cursi are the nicknames or two poor Spanish brothers who get recruited into the wild world of professional Mexican soccer. There meteoric rise to fame, one as a goalkeeper and one as a striker is slightly unpredictable but very entertaining. Everything that happens in this film makes sense, and the characters feel real. A very fun film that doesn’t really bring anything new to the table, but it still feels fresh and interesting anyway.