Eli Craig, USA, 2011, 89 min.

The draw of the film is its gimmick. Tucker and Dale, two well-meaning West Virginians, just happen to look like psycho hillbilly killers. But all they really want to do is go to their vacation home in the wilderness, and have a nice weekend of home improvement, fishing, and drinking.

A group of teenagers happen to be going on a camping trip in the same area. Through a series of comical misunderstandings, the teenagers beleive Tucker and Dale have kidnapped one of their own and are out to kill them all. But Tucker and Dale are just trying to be helpful, even though these crazy teenagers are accidentally killing themselves all over their property.

It’s a great gimmick, and has some great scenes. But the gimmick is over too quickly and the film turns into a standard, if comedic, horror film for the last third. But by that time I was in too much of a good mood to care. The leads and the film are likeable and the whole thing is over before you get a chance to want it to be better than it is.

This film wins the award “Best Use of Horror Cliches”  for taking all of the tired old scenes and reversing them to great comedic effect.

Lars von Trier, Denmark, 2011, 136 min.

I don’t normally give away plot points in my reviews, but the best way to look at Melancholia is to examine the ending.

The film is about a wedding at the end of the world. A rogue planet is coming towards Earth. Will it hit us? No one is really sure, but the wedding goes on as planned.

There are many characters, but the film hinges on three. Kirsten Dunst plays the severely depressed bride, Charlotte Gainsbourg is her strong-willed sister, and Kiefer Sutherland is Charlotte’s rich husband.

The rest of the characters are auxiliary and are there to highlight those three. And what happens at the wedding, which is darkly funny, awkward and depressing, helps us put those three characters into focus.

I would categorize them as the optimist, the pessimist, and the realist.  The realist is Dunst’s character, the one with severe depression. Because in von Treir’s world, depression is a real, tangible thing.

When the end of the world is eminent, they react in different ways. The pessimist, who was sure the planet was going to hit the Earth, breaks down and rails against the situation. The optimist, who believed the planet would pass them by, gives up and commits suicide. The only one who handles the situation with any dignity or grace is the realist.

Von Trier and Dunst have suffered through depression in real life, and together they create a sense of what that must be like. The symptoms, both mental and physical, are somehow larger than life. As large as an awesome, unavoidable catastrophe that is coming to end… well, everything. What I believe the film says, is that the only way to true happiness is to accept the fact that you and all humanity will die, and that an empty life-less universe will be all that is left.

This films wins the award “Most Awkward Wedding Reception” for a party where the bride has a mental breakdown every ten minutes, her mother proclaims her truly evil thoughts on marriage, and her father shows up with two young girls as his dates.

Tarsem Singh, USA, 2011, 110 min.

Immortals is the story of the ancient Greeks, and the mortal battle for an immortal weapon: the Epirus Bow. King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) scours the country in search of it so he can release the Titans, a group of vanquished gods that lost a heavenly war. Henry Cavill plays Theseus, a mortal peasant who was unknowingly taught by Zeus and may be the only thing stopping the king from completing his task.

The bow is very cool or course, and any mad power-crazed king would love to have it. I understand that. But why does the king want to release the Titans? It’s unclear. Whatever the reason, the currents gods don’t want that to happen, but they are banned by Zeus from interfering with mortal affairs. So they watch, on the edge of their seats, as the King gets closer and closer to the bow and the Titans.

Mixed up in all of this is the virgin oracle, (Freida Pinto), who can see the future and may know the location of the bow. The plot is straightforward, but the motivations and the specifics are very muddled. Why are people doing the things they do? Why are they going the places they go? Why don’t they do these other, more simple or more logical things instead?

The movie does have some cool images (dark, murky CGI, but still), and the fights are great (especially when the gods join in). But everything else is working against the film. Fans of Tarsem’s excellent The Fall will not be pleased, but fans of the inane 300 probably will.

This film wins the award for “Most Anachronistic Actor”for Mickey Rourke playing an ancient Greek. Sorry Mr. Rourke, you were evil and creepy in your role but I just couldn’t picture you in ancient times.

Kevin Smith, USA, 2011, 96 min.

Red State is a conundrum. Going in, I thought I had the film pegged. A trio of teenagers, lured with the promise of sex, get captured by a crazed preacher and his cult of ultra-conservatives. A not-so-veiled reference to the Westboro Baptist Church. There, during a church ceremony, they are readied for a sacrifice.

It’s a standard horror setup with a religious cult gimmick. You can guess where the film would go from there, but Kevin Smith turns it on its head. Not once, but twice. It felt like I was watching three different movies.

That being said, I’m not sure exactly what Kevin Smith was going for. Yes, the first part has a clear message. Beyond that the first two sections are standard genre exercises.and uninspiring. The last section is intriguing and unconventional but ultimately unrewarding.

Actually, that is a good way to describe Red State. I admire Kevin Smith for trying something different but it just doesn’t work.

This film wins the award “Worst Church” for one very close to what we have in the world today.

Frank Henenlotter, USA, 1990, 85 min.

We open on a brain in a jar. A brain with an eyeball. One of Jeffrey Franken’s experiments he works on at the kitchen table. This doesn’t make much sense but quickly sets the tone of the film: unrealistic but gleefully bizarre.

After a lawnmower accident kills Jeffrey’s fiance he turns his nervous brilliant energy to bringing her back to life, Frankenstein’s monster style. But due to the graphic nature of her untimely demise, he needs to get some other female body parts to make her whole again.

So where can he buy good-looking female parts? What happens next is a fantastic and humorous mix of bizarre ideas, incredible ad-libing, and just-right special effects. The screenplay is tight and the characters are memorable.

 It’s rare that a film with such a story can remain fun and light instead of dark and sleazy. Credit has to go to the writers, the director, and the great performance by James Lorinz. The story is broad and offensive, but the great surprise of Frankenhooker is that the film is just the opposite.

Thanks to Crystal Plumage I was able to see this flim in the theater with a Q&A and intro by Frank Henenlotter, in person. It was part of a great double feature with Basket Case. Check out Crysal Plumage’s Facebook for a list of upcoming screenings!

This film wins the award “Best Newscast” for the hilarious reporting of the unfortunate lawnmower accident. I love the police officer trying to count the body parts.