No more lists, just awards!

The Award for “Best Theft Scene” goes to Cold Weather for a unique climax to a unique story.

The Award for “Best Potential Spin-off” goes to X-Men: First Class for making everyone think a great film would be “Magneto: Nazi Hunter”.

The Award for “Best Michael Caine Impressions” goes to The Trip for Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon channeling Michael Caine for five minutes.

The Award for “Best Sex Scene” goes to The Perfect Host for David Hyde Peirce enjoying the company of an imaginary woman.

The Award for “Best 70s Film” goes to Super 8 for being a film straight out of my childhood.

The Award for “Best Soundtrack” goes to Hanna for a killer score by The Chemical Brothers.

The Award for “Most Courageous Film” goes to Tree of Life for being an unconventional film that could have ruined careers.

The Award for “Worst Food Poisoning Scene” goes to Bridesmaids for a gross-out scene that really felt out of place in a fairly smart film.

The Award for “Best Documentary” goes to Tabloid for telling a truly outrageous and entertaining story about Mormonism and kinky sex.

The Award for “Most Offensive Film” goes to Chillerama for being an utter piece of crap.

The Award for “Worst Clown Film” goes to The Last Circus for its absurd circus story that almost works but doesn’t.

The Award for “Best Film with a Strange Planet” goes to Melancholia for telling the story of a giant planet heading towards Earth.

The Award for “Second Best Film with a Strange Planet“ goes to Another Earth for telling the story of a discovery of another Earth eerily similar to ours.

The Award for “Best Chase Scene” goes to Drive for Ryan Gosling outwitting the police using mostly his wits.

The Award for “Best Laugh-out-loud Moment” goes to Shark Night 3D for the one-armed football player standing waist deep in the water, holding a spear, and taunting a shark.

The Award for “Most Slow Motion” goes to The Dead for endless scenes of slow-motion zombie walking.

The Award for “Best Song” goes to The Muppets for making me decide if I am a man or a muppet.

The Award for “Worst Soundtrack” goes to Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol for music that actually took me out of the movie.

The Award for “Best Piece of Property” goes to The Descendants for a parcel of thousands of pristine acres in the middle of Hawaii.

The Award for “Best Use of 3D” goes to Cave of Forgotten Dreams for showing the great Chauvet cave paintings in three dimensions.

The Award for “Most Entertaining Funeral” goes to Hesher for Joseph Gordon Levitt’s titular character talking about his testicles.

The Award for “Most Tired Concept” goes to The Change-Up for another body swap “comedy”.

The Award for “Coolest Car” goes to Bellflower for the flame-throwing, apocalypse-ready Medusa.

The Award for “Worst Final Shot” goes to The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo for a scene that totally messed up a really cool character.

And back for this year, my favorite part of being a film fan. The Best Repertory Cinema Screenings of 2011:

3) Basketcase (1928) / Frankenhooker (1990) – Crystal Plumage screened these two horror/comedy classics with Henenlotter in appearance. The second film quickly became one of my favorite movies.

2) Meet the Feebles (1989) - The last film of the Exhumed Films 24-hour film festival. I can’t believe I saw that in 35mm!

1) Planet of the Apes (1968) and all the sequels in one sitting. The original is one of my favorite films. And seeing the whole series in the theater was amazing. Thank you Exhumed Films!

You already saw my Top and Bottom films of the 2010 on my last post. But now, in no particular order, here are the Filmie awards for 2010!

The Award for “Best Dance Scene” goes to Dogtooth for the strangely choreographed duet.

The Award for “Best Fight Scene” goes to Inception for the rotating hotel fight scene.

The Award for “Best Documentary about a Bad Film” goes to Best Worst Movie for the it’s joyful celebration of all things Troll 2.

The Award for “Best Accent” goes to You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger for Lucy Punch’s portrayal of a trophy wife.

The Award for “Best Rescue” goes to Kisses for Dylan grabbing the car and getting dragged behind on his wheelies.

The Award for “Best Grindhouse Film” goes to Machete for the film inspired by a grindhouse trailer.

The Award for “Best Non-traditional Climax” goes to The King’s Speech for the titular speech at the end of the film.

The Award for “Most Interesting Place to Put a Camera” goes to 127 Hours for putting it in an arm!

The Award for “Best Direct-to-DVD Film” goes to Batman: Under the Red Hood.

The Award for “Most Over The Top Sequence” goes to A Serbian Film for the absurd, incorrectly toned climax.

The Award for “Worst Action Scene” goes to Clash of the Titans for the headache inducing tarantula fight. Where’s Harryhausen when you need him?

The Award for “Funniest Sex Scene” goes to OSS 117: Lost in Rio for the full on 70′s beach orgy.

The Award for “Creepiest Sex Scene” goes to Splice for Adrien Brody being seduced by his strangely attractive creation.

The Award for “Most Blatant Nudity” goes to Piranha 3D for the two naked women swimming under water in slow motion for several minutes.

The Award for “Best Delivery of Horrible Dialog” goes to Daybreakers for Willem Dafoe saying “Living in a world where vampires are the dominant species is about as safe as bare backing a 5 dollar whore”

The Award for “Best Actress” goes to Black Swan for Natalie Portman’s portrayal of a repressed young ballet dancer.

The Award for “Worst Title” goes to Hot Tube Time Machine for obvious reasons.

The Award for “Best Investigation Scenes” goes to Girl with the Dragon Tattoo for an unlikely pair circling closer and closer to the solution of a mystery.

The Award for “Best Actor” goes to The King’s Speech for Colin Firth’s portrayal of a king with a speech impediment.

The Award for “Worst CEO” goes to Exam for the mentally deficient head of the mysterious corporation.

The Award for “Best Soundtrack” goes to Kick-Ass for the soaring score by a few different composers.

The Award for “Worst Sequel to a Good Movie” goes to Iron Man 2 for the befuddling and messy follow-up to a the solid original.

The Award for “Biggest Flaming Balls” goes to Centurion for some big balls of fire.

The Award for “Creepiest Potential Son in Law” goes to Cyrus for Jonah Hill’s portrayal of a strange young man.

The Award for “Most Superficial Characters” goes to Sex and the City 2 for the return of the four hideous creatures that lack any redeeming qualities.

And Finally, my favorite part of being a film fan. The Best Repertory Cinema Screenings of 2010:

3) Dawn of the Dead (1978) – A rare screening of the original in 35mm. Part of the Exhumed Films 24-hour horror fest.

2) Troll 2 (1990)/ Gremlins (1984) - Another Exhumed Films double-feature. A really fun bad movie in 35mm, following by an exciting and colorful classic of horror/comedy.

1) Phantom of The Paradise (1974) – Brian De Palma in 35mm! I had not seen this before, and this was by far the best film of the Exhumed Films 24-hour horror fest. A great film to see in the theater.